So many things that are rendered repetitive, unspeakable in the end… I just want to say, “Thank you God, for never giving up on little faithless me.” You rescued me from my mundane life. You rescued me from my apathy.

Recently, this song has been stuck in my head:

Amazing grace,
How sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost,
But now I’m found.
Was blind,
But now I see.

And God’s little whisper has been confirmed once more during Saturday’s service. His grace abounds. No more guilt, no more considerations. Just do it.

I’ve always been a skeptical person. I’ve always been an emotional person as well. I don’t know how the equation works the way it is, but that’s the way it is. I need more faith. I ask, “Is God there? Is God real?” when I should be asking, “God, give me faith!”

A father lets go of his child’s hand so that the child may walk on his own.

If God were real without a sliver of doubt, then everyone would be a Christian. There would be no need for faith. There can be scientific truths that point towards the existence of a higher power. There can be experiences that bring you to tears and convict you of your faith, if only for a while. But ultimately, you make the decision. You take the leap of faith.

It’s your choice, how you live your life.

Paradigm shift. It is not I but Him in me. I only live to worship the one who created me. Even if I’m alone in my faith, I must still stand up and be strong.

There’s still this fear in me that says, “How long can you sustain your faith? You’ll just go back to who you were before.” But this simply cannot be. The Lord is the author and perfector of our faith.

I chose to believe in God. I chose to live my live fully for him.

Now I just need to put my words into action.


What I need:
Self-discipline to read the Word daily.
Courage to step out of my comfort zone.
Initiative-ness to do things others hasn’t done yet.
Love to complete meaning in everything I do.
(And drive out Apathy.)

Favorite quote of all time: The opposite of Love is not Hate. The opposite of Love is Apathy.

I hate Apathy because I need Love. To love because I’m loved.

So #@$&% it!!! I need to mooovvvee.

So many things to do.

So little time.